dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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