Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
