Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Randomize
