Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
