Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Randomize
