He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
