that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
