sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
