She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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