So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
