is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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