hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
