When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
