I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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