you told grandpa to call you daddy
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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