mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
