Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
