And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Im part way to drunk.
my liver is dry heaving
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
