guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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