my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize