I want to stick my p in your. b.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
