dude i'm inner monologue high
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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