he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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