I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Randomize
