i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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