we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
