Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
