so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
