? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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