Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
