before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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