I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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