I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
