lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
