So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
