In America we eat man semen.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The power of my boobs compel you
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
