she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
