Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize
