im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
