I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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