there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
