I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
