I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
