She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize