He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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