BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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