I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
