I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
