the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
