she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You smell like a Billy Joel song
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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