you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
