Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
