So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
