I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
