Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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