Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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