I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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