My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
