I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize