It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
