I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
