Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
