Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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